3. The Race will include 3 events. These are defined in 11 below:

	a. the Stock class
	b. the Unlimited class
	c. the Radio Controlled class. .

4. An entry fee of $0.10 (US currency) shall be collected from each entrant regardless of the number of Events entered. These fees can be used to provide trophies and/or certificates to winners, runners-up and runners-up down to 14th runner-up at the discretion of the Race Steward.

10. Contestants in every event will be governed by the following abbreviated rules. A full set of the rules may be obtained from the Race Steward (if he feels like it). Every contestant, regardless of age, must accompanied by an adult supervisor (per instructions on the box) and must present an affidavit attesting to the fact that he has read and understood the operating instructions on the box.

	a. No mechanical or living device or contraption capable of increasing a boat's speed may be attached to a boat. Anything even remotely resembling a propeller, turbo-fan or nuclear power plant will immediately cause suspicion.
	b. If wave height at 3PM exceeds 9.2 meters peak-to-peak (as measured by the standard laser theodolite), the race will be postponed until sufficient crude oil can be introduced to calm the troubled waters.
	c. Spectators shall be allowed no closer than 100 meters to the race course because of the extreme danger from the high boat speeds and foul language from the contestants.
	d. No boat may carry a sail or offensive armament. The Pool operators have given assurance that the pool filters are adequate for the removal of Giant Squid, sharks, submarines, etc., from the water so it will not be necessary for boats to carry harpoon guns or depth charges.
	e. Heavy objects, such as typewriters, XYL's, VW beetles or overcooked hamburgers shall not be thrown into the pool before or during a race as this might cause the wave height limit to be exceeded. YL's are encouraged to be in the pool if they don't make waves. Contestants 'accidentally' falling into the pool will be assessed a fine of $40 unless their boat is leading the race.

f. Protests will be settled by the Race Steward and appeals from his decision must be sent by snail mail in quadruplicate to the World Court in the Hague. A period of not more than seven (7) years will be allowed for their decision.

g. Claims of interference by the Pool Cleaning Robot will be adjudicated by the Race Steward on an ad hoc and arbitrary basis.  The official video record of the race by K2SKV, WD4IGL and N2VEV may be used for this purpose. Repeated offenses by the Robot may necessitate a good talking-to and/or physical restraint of the Robot. A 12-bore will be available for reducing cat molestation.

h. Aiding the progress of any boat by fanning, blowing or any other gaseous or liquid accelerative means is forbidden.

i. Tug boat and/or dip-net assistance to disabled boats will be provided by the Pool operators. Cries of 'man overboard' are considered silly and will be ignored.

j. Aids to navigation, including GPS, LORAN-C, radar, compasses and peloruses are allowed. On-board computers are allowed but are limited to the equivalent of a Cray-XMP or less (no multiprocessors). The use of sextants is prohibited due to the danger of blinding when shooting the sun (if any).

k. Contestants and spectators must not create magnetic fields strong enough to affect the natural magnetic declination. The horizontal component of the local magnetic field will be constantly monitored to detect such sabotage.

l. Each boat shall carry a unique identifying number not less than 0.001" high. These numbers will be assigned by the Race Steward at least 2 weeks before the Race date.

m. Fuel (except for the Unlimited class) will be doled out (if you ask nicely) by the Race Steward. This will be kerosene with a guaranteed octane rating of 4.5. Contestants' fuel storage drums must be painted red and conform to all EPA regulations. Oxidizing agents shall not be added to the fuel or burners lest you blow some fingers off.

n. Collisions should be avoided considering the high speeds involved. To minimize the chance of collision, no more than 47 boats can race simultaneously. No claims for collision damage will be countenanced-that's just part of the game.

o. Burners shall not be lighted until the command "Gentlepersons, start your engines!" is issued by the Race Steward.  After this, a period not less than 87 secs. or exceeding 111.111 secs. shall elapse until the Starting Cannon is fired.

p. In the remote(?) possibility that the Cannon blast shall sink or swamp one or more boats, the Cannon shall be carefully re-aimed, moved back 1 meter and a re-start may be ordered by the Race Steward (again, if he feels like it). The number of re-starts under this proviso is limited to 14. The Cannon will also be available to repel gull attacks.

q. Only wooden or book matches or Zippo lighters or 'burning glasses' are allowed for lighting burners. Bic's, oxy-acetylene torches, flame throwers, flint and steel, rubbed Boy Scouts and any other environmentally damaging lighting methods are right out.   Electric spark lighting methods shall not be used because of possible interference with computers, communications equipment, navigational and hearing aids.

r. Fire fighting equipment will be provided by the Pool operators but each boat must carry Coast Guard approved fire extinguishers and life jackets.

s. Boats shall be held by the contestant with the boat's transom firmly against the end of the pool. After the starting cannon is fired, boats may be released. Imparting forward motion during or after release is forbidden. This is REALLY a no-no!

t. Preloading of boilers with any liquid other than water (aqua pura, dihydrogen oxide) is forbidden. Heavy water (duterium dioxide) shall not be used. Dyes or other messy stuff shall not be added to boiler water.

	u. Side bets exceeding $2,000 are not allowed.
	v. Ship-to-shore communications shall be in the 10-10.5GHz band by spread-spectrum methods only. Pseudo-random codes will be assigned by the Race Steward. Shore stations shall be limited to 1 KW per polarization direction.
	w. The use of Very pistols is not allowed since the helicopter patrols will detect life-threatening situations in a timely manner. Contestants should be prepared for occasional helicopter downwash. Each boat must carry a fog horn audible at a distance of at least 1km.
	x. All boats not completing a race before darkness sets in will be declared 'too slow' and laughed at.

	y. The finish line will be a taut length of RG-58U co-ax suspended 4.7" above mean high tide. The winner of a race will be that boat whose 'prow' (defined below) crosses the finish line first.
	z. The Race Steward may participate in any or all events.

	aa. Course buoys will conform to the standard 'red-right-returning' convention and will contain bells or coo-coos to permit navigation in fog.
	ab. Oh hell, that's enough.

11. The following define the 3 race classes:

a. The Stock class. Boats, engines and burners (as manufactured by the Carlisle Co. of Mound House, NV), must not be modified in any way except for the material and protruding length of the wick. Lightening holes above the water line are forbidden. The length of the race is 2 fathoms (horizontally, not vertically).

b. The Unlimited class. The hull may be of any design and its water line length must not exceed 12 inches. The overall length must not exceed 11". The engine must be visually indistinguishable from a stock engine except that the propulsion tubes may be of any length or number. Any fuel and burner design may be used. The length of the race is 4 fathoms. Any boat in this class demonstrating speeds in excess of 44 ft/sec will be declared 'unbelievable' and might even be given a special award and gloating rights.

c. The Radio Controlled class. Boats, engines and burners must conform to the rule for the Stock class. Any amount of radio equipment and batteries can be carried. The race shall be one lap over a closed course of 3.1415928 km.

12. The 'prow' of a boat is the north (for example) end if the boat is traveling north. When standing still, the 'prow' is undefined.